We were watching my niece run a 5k and enjoying the happy faces of runners of all ages - probably looking happy because it was still the beginning of the race so they weren't tired yet. I was smiling until I saw the boy, about fourteen, give a distinct "How you doin'" smile to someone standing just past me. When I turned, I realized that the look on his young handsome face was intended for my older daughter.
My initial instinct shocked me, I wanted to barrel him over like one of those football players you see on TV-- But that would have tripped the runners behind him- and they were innocent, after all. So that wouldn't be fair, would it? But I am not a total jerk and I saw that he was, after all, a young pup himself and I was sure in the beginning stages of his own adolescence.
I always said that I wouldn't be one of those parents- the kind that breathe down the necks of their daughter's boyfriends with suspicious eyes, while cleaning a shotgun. That was not me- is not me- I remember the embarrassment of my dating years and I was going to be the calm, educated, trusting mom- I was- I mean, am. Deep breaths.
I was going to be evolved, having educated my daughters by that point on the dangers of STDs, pregnancy, the preference for abstinence, proper condom use and the importance of true respect and a healthy relationship. I was going to rock that whole dating age thing with my kids. I mean- I am going to rock it. I hope.
Then, this young buck runs past, makes eyes at my daughter and I react like a momma bear. Way to be evolved.
"You know it's only going to get worse." My friends told me, "Your kids are lookers."
Thank you for the compliment - can you excuse me while I enroll them in ninja training classes and build a 200 foot tower in the backyard with no door and one window at the very top- they're going to need the fresh air after all.
Since the price of stone has gotten rather high since Rapunzel was around, I sought the advice of someone who has been there- someone with five daughters all of them lovely, intelligent and almost fully grown.
Her advice was simple, "I think it's time to move to a small town in a rural community." We laughed considering that is exactly what I am doing and she knew that. But she also has the ability to trust and I have got to work on that.
It is remarkably hard not to build that tower in the yard- especially since our new home has a nice plot of land. I can hear the conversation now:
"Yeah, we were going to build a barn but then our daughters started to turn into young women so the tower seemed more pertinent. Hold on a sec while I send this bucket of food up for them."
Squeaky, squeaky, squeaky. (that would be the sound of the pulley as the bucket goes up)
Then I look at these people who grew inside of my body (how odd that seems at times) and who they are, their strengths, their personalities, the way they hold themselves and I realize that I have to trust not just in the universe and their individual destinies but in them. Because as much as I think they are extensions of myself, they are not, they are themselves and have been and will always be and I am going to have to let go of the idea that I have even an iota of control over anything.
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